Thursday, September 10, 2009


just finsihing my break and trying to write before the weekend hits..its my friday and i have a friend coming up this weekend and im easiely distracted. My life is soooooo full, i can barelt manage all the great things in my life. For real my biggest problem is staying on top of all the stuff that is going on..95% of it good stuff. I actually can say in this moment that i really feel grateful. Last night at work was super weird..we had to come in @11 and finsihed the shift, my body was not sure wether it was morning..night whatever..i now itsnot good for you to be working late nights. So i got the opportuinty to go to a 42 year cake right before work> this man has 42 years of sobriety and alot of poeple at the meeting had lots of clean time as well. There really is a certian vibe when your ina room with sooooo much wisdoim and strength, not a dry eye in the house. He also has altimzers so he repreated alot of the same thing. Since it takes me a while to hear things and aparently i need to be reminded all the time of were i came from, i found it helpful. He kept saying that AA had taught him how to not listen to himself, i hear that. AA has taught me that perhaps what i think isnt true, maybe what i think is a good idea is really ooaded with self seeking alterir motives, that maybe its hard to fix my mind with my mind because my mind will always take me back to be self centered. TRUE DAT! another lovely part of that meeting was i got to see two of my clients who are now sober. Seriously, these twon men are like a light in my life, i ran ito them while i was doing a group at the local recovery house. One of them didnt reconzie me from my work untill he saw my tattoo on my wrist, he said that he was always looking down and reconzied my wrist from my work. Amazing right...spent the last how ever many years always staring at the ground. Now both of them are living together and almost have a year sober each, when they see me there eyes shine! itssuch a bond to have known them at the bottom, in the trenches, my fallen soldiars that got to get up and walk again and we both know how truely incredible it is that they are alive and well. SOOOOOO happy, so happy that i can do that before i come here, makes me feel good when i then talk about my experience in recovery when clients ask because i can say 100% that i know there is another way, i know its possible,that they are not different and that it will be there for them if they ever want it. I truely believe that were there is life there is hope!

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