i realize this computer at work in the staff room doeant have auto spell check- therefore i predict massive spelling mistakes, but hey who cares, no one reads this really. I had a really self centered thought the other day that maybe i would delete this blog. For a few reasons, i always want a space to write and then i want to share it, then i give people my blog address then i get self conscince of qhat im writtng and wish to be anoymous. The reality is most people i gave this address to dont read it, life right people get busy whatever...i should know this. Also i started thinking just about my work, and maybe i wasnt being secret enough, like maybe what i write may reflect badely from an opion i have ectect. Like would my co-workers feel like it wasnt acurate blah blah, this is the garabge that cycled through my head. But i guess after taking a week off from writting i feel like its fine, i feel like my opion is honest and generally in the best ibntrest of my work and the people i serve, authentically so whatever. Plus who the fuck is going to know or care enough about what "iam" writting. seriously right?
so yes i took that week off, and rightfully so. My week was full of madness..seriously...sober madness..diffferent madness from this place..whatver life is madness. So last week..pms like a fucking freight train..equals zero copping skills...had a moment were my roomate asked what was wrong...a million fbombs went off..i took the night off work and did some errrands that were piling up on me. Real awesome, my new roomate also works for us and could take my shift..super bonus, asiodes from the fact that sometmes he is my spitual hero. So helpful it really blows my mind, he reallt actually thinks of thers..like his actions say that. So that..also we got a cat..man, let me just say note to self;
**** when adopting a cat from a stranger..DONT get an un-nuterted male DO- make sure it has had its shots DONT - put it in a house full of other animals***
the result was a week full of cat piss, it pissed on the walls, on michelles couch, on my couch, on breannas back pack, on her other backpack, on her pillow, onmy computer chair, on michelles boots, on my bag of work clothes, on the table cloths, in the bathrioon, in the bathtub could add infinitum...ectect
right so there was that, we borrowed a blacklight and spent a few evening cracking out with it looking for spray..ive never experienced anythig like that. Thank god for johan..who found a place to get it nutred, got a special littler box and kept him in his room and slowely we reintroduced him back to society. Fail, right..? we have been treating him like he has been in active addiction and now back from detox we are loving him till he loves himself. I named him chaos and he is quite charming this week...i dont think hes peed on anything but again ive had the swineflu or somethnglike it cv\\and cant smell..so maybe im just naive..
thats that...falling in and out and back in love..a whole completly different story..a story that my mind barely wraps around, a story that confuses me enough to just set asode(as much as i can) to just focus on whats right in front of me...life is so much easier when what i deal with is looking me righ tback in the eyes..sometimes i can do it other times im lost in a sea of my toughts..tonight was a bitlike that..i guess thats whythis post has primary been about me and not whats up with work...i will get into that when i gethome..helped faciatate a documentary that was filmed here about work and johann.. that went well but perhaps i will write later..
its the eve of check night and the IR is quite..i feel better aboutmy mini rant..hmmm write as if no one is readng,,that needs to be my moto..because really maybe no one is and if they are..well its just my reality..