i really need to get this off my chest..im sure later in the day i will want to recount what a lovely timei have had working at the detox program above the injection site tonight. But first i have to say something...and not to take away the fact that i really like the all night graveyard because well the money is better for the 12 ours instead of 9...if you worked full time it would only be 3 days...i am super surprised at how awake iam but iguess i shouldnt be because I normally go to bed like 30min ago so whats 2.5 more hours...but what i really need to talk about is this..
There is nothing more in this world that makes me want to jump out of my skin, nothing that puts the fear of fucking god in me, nothing that brings up my PTS from years ago, nothing that automatically makes me think ive been doing rails of coke all night, nothing else that can make me feel guilty for no reason, nothing that makes me appreciate my clean warm sober bed, then the sound of god damn fucking seagulls at 5 in the morning....6 in the morning...stayed up all night at fucking 7 in the morning.... im not even joking or trying to be dramatic..the ONLY reason why i can take it and havent wrapped tape around ym eyes and stuffed cotton in my ears is that i KNOW IM SOBER AND GOING HOME SOON. Am I the only one... seriously they are like termites knawling in my mind...termites of the sky..here to torment anyone that has ever used drugs till the next day and beyond or is currently on drugs..
fuck thats not even the worst part or maybe it is..i just started think about the bus ride home...people up...people normal...doing normal things...who the fuck is up at 7/8am on a sunday, am i normally this bitter or is it that iam. would i be normal and going for a run right now...
i have a camera that shows me the street right outside downstairs..i see people walking by..i wan to yell at them and tell them they still have time...
at least im going home..i forgot my sunglasses...fuck
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